Safe Dating Tips

We want to make sure you stay safe during your online dating experience with Seeking. Keep these tips in mind when you are talking/texting with someone or setting up a Meet & Greet.

Getting to Know Someone

When you are just starting to get to know someone, take precautions in protecting your personal information and follow these general dating tips.

  • Keep your full name private. When talking with someone online, don’t create a username with your first and last name. Just use your first name or create a playful account username and vanity email account with a flirty nickname. Who doesn’t enjoy an air of mystery while you get comfortable with the other person?
  • Don’t mix online dating with social media. Avoid using photos from your social media accounts in your online dating profile. Why? They’re too easy to trace. By the same token, don’t link any online dating sites to your social channels. This is one of the fastest ways for someone to trace you and learn all about you, your friends and family.
  • Catch a glimpse of your date before meeting them. Did you know that Seeking now has a video chat feature? Members with verified profiles or upgraded memberships can’t get enough of it! It’s an easy way to meet virtually before setting up in-person dates, and also a safe way to spend time together between dates. No need to share your email, phone number or social media handle—just some quality face-to-face time with new friends. For your safety, here are a few things to keep in mind when using the video chat:
    • Don’t share any of your personal information
    • Be aware of your background and avoid displaying private info in your shot
    • While we don’t record any of your video conversations, no video chat platforms can prevent members from recording their video chats
  • Nip uncomfortable conversations in the bud and take the appropriate measures to block and report the person who is making you feel uncomfortable. Our site provides many ways to anonymously report a member that makes you uncomfortable to make sure no one else is subject to that individual’s behavior.
  • Be cautious. Don’t send photos right away. Get to know the person you’re chatting with a little bit more. Also, don’t give out your phone number and use the chat features instead. And when talking with someone, be careful in describing your location, events you’ve been to recently, your workplace or anything else that can easily place you somewhere that they may recognize or know. 
  • Never give anyone money or financial information online. It’s as simple as that! And the same principle applies to all your online activity, not just dating online. If someone is asking for your financial information, please use the report function on our sites.
  • Keep private details private, for now. It’s always exciting getting to know someone new and sharing personal details about yourself and your immediate circle seems natural. On those first initial dates, keep private details private. This can include (but is not limited to) your last name, address, social handles and frequent spots where you hang out until you’ve both built up enough trust.
  • Where you live and who you live with is private. Until you know someone better and can trust them, never give out your physical address or have them meet you there. If you do decide to hang out in person, make sure to meet in a popular, public place. You can even have a buddy with you or share your date location with a friend.
  • Google them! The best defense is a good offense. If you google your date and find some questionable info or just get a bad feeling, follow your gut and cancel ASAP.

Preparing for a First Date

Ready to go on that first date or is it still early in your courtship? Keep these tips in mind!

  • Tell someone about your plans. One of the most crucial steps is to let a trusted friend or family member know the details of your date: where you’re meeting, what time, the telephone number to the establishment, etc. There are never too many details to share when it comes to your safety. 
  • Ensure your cell phone is fully charged and location settings are on. Before, during and after your date, you want to make sure you have enough battery life to contact anyone for any reason. This includes having your location settings on to ensure a trusted family member or friend can track your location. If you find yourself always on the move before a date, consider investing in a rechargeable cell phone case or a portable charger to always be prepared. 
  • Take precautionary defensive measures. A lot of people might think it’s over the top, but tucking some pepper spray or Mace in your purse when you go on a first date is a good move in case you get attacked. Don’t rely on this to save you but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
  • Consider making your first date a double date. If you can, go out with at least one other friend or couple to keep on eye each other in case someone is slipped a date rape drug or appears to be drinking too much. It’s also a great way to get a second opinion if you start getting bad vibes from a date.
  • Arrange your own transportation to and from the date. Drive your own car, take public transportation, call a friend or have a rideshare app to come get you. To make sure you get home safe and sound, don’t accept a ride or walk back with your date. This would let them know where you live and could result in them taking you somewhere else.
  • Always meet in a public place. As you’re planning your first in-person date, remember to always meet in a public place. Should you feel any pressure to meet in a private location, stress the importance of wanting to meet in public for the first couple of dates. If they continue to push the subject, reevaluate meeting in person and/or end the conversation entirely.
  • Never meet an online date in their car, in the parking lot, at a motel/hotel or any place where you can’t get away safely and quickly. If at any time you feel uncomfortable, go with your gut and get out of that situation. Do not hesitate! You also can consider carrying a can of pepper spray, just in case.
  • Be observant. Pay attention to the body language and facial expressions of the person you’re meeting.
  • Always keep an eye on your food and drinks. Never leave your food and/or drinks unattended. Should you have to step away from the table, place a napkin over your plate. And never feel bad about requesting a new drink if you recognize any suspicious behavior(s) from anyone at or around your table. Date rape drugs are easy to administer and don’t change the flavor or appearance of your drink. Keeping an eye on your drink at all times is the best way to stay safe.
  • Stay sober or make sure you watch your alcohol intake. Don’t drink or at least limit the amount of alcohol that you drink.  Becoming impaired is an easy way to make yourself vulnerable and put yourself in an unsafe situation.  
  • Always have enough cash or a credit card on you to get home. You never know what could happen and having some available cash or electronic funds to handle any unexpected situation is the best way to feel comfortable when you’re on a date.
  • Trust your gut. If your instincts are telling you something is wrong, believe them. If you think someone has lied to you, you’re probably right. If you overlook it, you may end up regretting it later. Hanging around and trying to make it feel right is a risk not worth taking. 
  • Have your “gotta go!” excuse ready. Don’t be afraid to leave a date prematurely if the other person is making you uncomfortable in any way. Come prepared with your “early leaving” excuse before meeting up for the date, and practice what you’ll say if you decide he—or she–is too creepy and you want to leave early. Better not to spend more face time with someone who’s giving you a bad feeling and get out of there ASAP.
  • Report all suspicious and offensive behaviors. If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable or disrespected while interacting with someone while on a dating site or when you meet in person, be sure to report them through the proper channels within the respective app where you first connected. At Seeking, members can ‘Report a Member’ from the member’s profile. Pick the appropriate reason from the list and provide a clear description of the behavior. Additionally, you may also block the member which will prevent them from communicating with you and from seeing your profile. 
  • Don’t violate your values and ground rules.  This includes not going home with him or her, or inviting them inside your home. Don’t have sex before you are ready. And never let them pressure you into going somewhere or doing something you are uncomfortable with at any time.

After a Date

If you are just not feeling a love connection, it’s OK to say so.

  • Feelings need to be mutual. If you are simply not interested in seeing someone again, be honest and tell them right away. If you feel that they won’t take it seriously, or don’t hear you, leave the date without plans for follow up and don’t be afraid to block their number or profile.
  • If you’re not feeling it, don’t be afraid to ghost. After you tell someone you’re not interested, never take their calls or emails again. Continually responding to messages telling a person ‘no’ over and over again only fuels the fire and could make them think you’re really interested. They might even see it as a challenge. Don’t be afraid to just go off the grid—it’s not rude, it’s a clear signal to back off.

IMPORTANT: If a member has threatened you or committed an act of violence or theft, please contact your local law enforcement agency and also report the member to Seeking to help protect the community.